Posted by Spooner | 3 Comments

HUSKSSSSS

Here’s a quickie for the day since I’m going to be otherwise completely swamped later. When playing vidya games, sometimes shit just comes out of nowhere and scares the ever loving ass out of you. For me it’s HUSKS from Mass Effect 2. Those pieces of shit come streaming out of the shadow and run up in your face 3-4 at a time then start slapping you around with their zombie-cyborg cocks and pussy Commander Shepard just flails about like a freak. Melee attacking does nothing. I was doing fine on Insanity up until my first husk encounter. I felt as if I had truly been violated, not to mention I turn the corner and the shrieking moaning bastards almost made me soil myself.

What vidya game enemy scares the balls off you? Metaphorical balls if I actually have any women reading this site still. Facehuggers? Zombies? Be specific.

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Posted by Spooner | 4 Comments

Left 4 Dead 2 Review

I reviewed Left 4 Dead 2 and put the video up on the internet, by all means give it a watch and leave some feedback.

I’d rate the game as a definite buy if you like FPS games and happen to enjoy zombies in any capacity. There are other shooters out there now that are competitive online but honestly – they’re full of 12 year old prepubescents crying over xbox Live.

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Posted by Spooner | 1 Comment

My heart’s in Left 4 Dead 2

Most wouldn’t consider the Left 4 Dead franchise to be a work of deep story at first glance. But ask anybody who’s played the game for a while and they can recite quotes from the main characters like second nature.

I can say with 100% confidence that some of the best atmosphere in any game I’ve ever played can be found in Left 4 Dead 1 and 2. The voice acting is incredible, each line delivered with pinpoint accuracy to the theme and such a wonderful gusto that I’m surprised I don’t see any major Hollywood stars on the rolling credits.  Even the individual one-liners are recorded sometimes 5 different ways so you don’t typically get the same variation.

The incarnation of a world caught in the throes of a full on zombie apocalypse has given me pause while taking out the trash in the late night when it’s too quiet on my street. At times I expect to be jumped by a bloodthirsty hunter or even worse, hours of hearing the mindless infected hordes screams and wails makes my ears play tricks on me when I try to fall asleep.

There’s enough exploration in the game to keep you guessing as to where the next attack is coming from and hundreds of little nooks and crannies where possible salvation can be waiting in the form of a special gun or med-kit. So my lavish praise aside, what’s new with Left 4 Dead 2?

New Infected: There’s the Spitter, which looks like a woman with her jaw ripped open so you can see the throat easily and she spews acidic bile on the ground similar to the molotov cocktails. This has essentially destroyed the strategy of “group up in a corner and wait it out”

The Hunter has been redesigned with the same mechanics but an all new look that seems more clawed and deadly. The Boomer as well has a new look and there are female Boomers too that seem to have been ripped from my worst nightmares.  The Smoker is back too of course and he also has a better look. The tank is by far the most menacing of the Special Infected and he’s still around punching cars and generally ruining your day.

The other two new Special Infected are the Jockey and Charger. The Charger simply runs full speed out of nowhere at you and proceeds to slam you against the ground like a rag doll with his one massive roided out arm.

The Jockey is the most obnoxious little fucker ever conceived by game developers. First off he has this evil clown midget kind of laugh and he’s always laughing. Then he leaps on you like a hunter would but decides to sit on your shoulders and forces your character to run about wherever he feels you should. This little monkey motherfucker jumps on my shoulders and starts raping the back of my head as he pulls me away from the group. That’s some creative thinking right there.

The new weapons at first will sound overpowered like a grenade launcher, multiple assault rifles, semi-automatic sniper rifle, and the various melee weapons. Ammo isn’t as common as it was, and the infected hordes are much more resilient. Also there’s a fuckton more of them.

You can carry one primary weapon, which is typically a big gun of some kind. My personal favorite would be the new silver plated shotguns. They have less spread but more concentrated punch down the middle. Your secondary sidearm is a handgun that can be swapped out for a magnum handgun or a melee weapon. The new melee weapons are devastating but you’re prone to get surrounded and overwhelmed more since you can’t stop foes at range with a frying pan. The accessory slot where you could once only hold pain killer pills, can now hold a very big adrenaline needle instead (you can’t carry both just like the sidearms). The pills do the same thing as they used to, prolong your life. The new adrenaline shot will turn your vision stark and dampen all sounds around you, you pretty much go into fuck-off mode. You will run faster and not get slowed down as much by zombie attacks. When it wears off, it’s like coming off a drug though and everything feels slow and nauseating.

Finally there’s the first aid kit and grenade slots. You can still carry a first aid kit or a compact defibrillator device, like the kind ambulance workers use to revive the almost dead. But you have to sacrifice the medpack thus making yourself the ultimate team player. As for grenades, you still have molotov cocktails and pipe bombs, but now you can throw a jar of Boomer puke (bile). It’s pretty fucking awesome to lob it at some hapless zombie and watch as the hordes come from all over to eat him and then go ape shit on the putrid puddle you just created. I wonder how that would work against a tank.

I could go further here talking about the audio quality being ramped up and the gore and graphics being displayed like works of art but I’ve taken enough of your time. Expect a video coming very soon from yours truley, and happy hunting out there survivors.

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Posted by Spooner | 0 Comments

Left 4 Dead bus in my own Miami, FL

This uhm… yeah ok so let me tell you a story.

I leave this morning to drop my daughter off at school and on the way I notice the side of a local Miami-Dade County public bus has an advertisement for Left 4 Dead 2. I was pretty much floored.

I tried to snap a pic with my phone but didn’t want to end up crashing or anything and us Miami drivers are already known as the worst fucking assholes behind the wheel anyway, so I made a mental note to search when I got home.

No shit there it is, this image is different than the bus I saw but they’re pretty much the same thing. Typically you only see ads for local radio or TV stations and almost 100% of the time it’s the latino or hiphop stations. Sometimes there’s an ad for some concert or local trade school etc, but never anything like this. I’m pretty freaking amazed in a great way. I’ve seen the grand Theft Auto 4 ads on bus stops a while ago but for Valve to drop the kind of money on an ad assault locally is an entirely different beast.

I am now officially hyped for Left 4 Dead 2.

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