Posted by Spooner | 1 Comment

The Daily Fap: Why can’t my LAN party be this awesome?

So I’m actually going to a LAN party being hosted by some very close friends after Thanksgiving (expect video footage if I can get the lighting right) and I know for a fact it won’t be like this one. Scored these images off the internet and thought to myself, LAN parties around here usually involve BBQ – beer – massive trading of porn and other contraband. Russian LAN parties (or at least those held in the greater Eastern Europe area) seem to have a wider variety of attractions for their nerds than we do here in the states.

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Posted by Spooner | 13 Comments

Come kill Zombies with me…

So I’ve been playing Left 4 Dead for a long while now, hands down one of my favorite FPS games of all time. I imagine not all of you like first person shooters let alone gory zombie apocalypse type stories, but this game is just too fun. I was actually surprised that I got into it since I despise the zombie horror genre scene (thank the ex-girlfriend’s fucking obsession with it for that one) but I was swayed by the fact that its a game created by Valve. These are the masters of the universe that created the Half Life franchise and Portal. The game’s available on the PC and the 360, but get the PC version if you don’t already. Trust me (I hate EA).

Anyways, it’s your typical FPS game as far as the UI and controls go. The game’s story line is about a zombie apocalypse. You play as one of 4 survivors (Bill, Zoey, Francis, or Louis) who are immune to the infection and your goal is to make it from the starting point of the zone to the rescue point. Each chapter in the campaign is broken up by reaching a safe house and barricading yourself inside. That’s where you start and finish each chapter, you’re given first aid kits, weapons, ammunition, and sometimes grenades as well. The weapons however are pretty standard fair.

Infected (zombies) come in a few varieties and all are very flammable. Fire pretty much 1 hit kills all infected. They’re attracted to sound and light as well so watch out for car alarms and other similar obstructions. There are 5 special infected, 4 of which can be controlled by the player in versus mode which consist of:

• Smokers (undead mutations that can use their tongue at great distance to grab and pull a survivor towards them)
• Boomers (big fat abomination looking undead that vomit green sludge on you which acts like a loud dinner bell calling hundreds of normal infected to rush you, as well as making it damn near impossible for you to see. They explode when killed)
• Hunters (fragile yet powerful infected that can leap and climb incredible distances, they attack via pouncing and pinning down a survivor and then ripping into them. If left alone long enough they can easily kill a survivor with no problems)
• Tanks (these come pretty few and far between, they act as the big crescendo event during a campaign. They are massive mounds of muscle and brute strength, they slam and throw cars at the survivors as well as slabs of concrete. Think the hulk minus the bottom jaw)
• The Witch (don’t touch the witch. She’s this bad motherfucker that cries nonstop hunched on the floor, pissing off the witch by getting to close, shooting her, or shining your flashlight at her will make her charge and use these 2 foot long claws to instantly knock you down and rip your guts out through your ass. Witches take a while to kill and never stop until whoever pissed them off is dead. Also you can’t ever play as the witch)

You’re allowed two weapons at any given time and ammunition is finite (a main gun and your handgun). The handgun (your secondary weapon) has unlimited ammo but in no way will keep you alive for long when you get rushed by the infected zombie hordes. You start off with access to an Uzi or a Shotgun, as well there are molotov cocktails and pipebombs with beepers stuck to them which are pretty useful for gathering up a lot of infected and blowing them up at once. You can eventually equip a second handgun and dual wield them as well as find an assault rifle (M16), auto-shotgun, or a hunting rifle (works like a sniper rifle). Sometimes during certain “hunker down” sections, there will be a bunch of sandbags and an abandoned military chain gun set down that you can man and mow down thousands of undead. Also you can sometimes find gas cans or propane tanks or whatever and use them to setup little choke points for the massive horde rushes.

The game is incredibly fun and if you want to play with me my steam ID is Spoonergod. Add me as a friend and I hope to see you soon. Also, check out this movie. It looks hilarious.

As an all around gamer, I feel it is my holy charge to provide the gaming community with proper reviews, critiques, and reports.  As there are many MMORPG, FPS, and RTS games out there, I believe that as a gamer I should share my experiences and maybe help you get out of your comfort zone and try new games that are worth picking up. There that should keep the fanboys from burning my site to the ground for another 5 minutes…

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