“What’s melee range?” a Tribute to LFG

It has been just long enough and I’ve used the new LFG tool as a tank and as a DPS role (never a healer) and I’ve achieved the title but not yet the mutt; it’s about time to give a sober account. The title of this thread was a real quote said to me by a caster wearing gear up to par with Ulduar and above. I was in greens.

The Good

First off we have our ultimate conclusion – this is a great tool and a positive change to the game overall as it helps out low pop servers and takes the hardest part of 5-man Heroics out of the equation. I’ve come across incredible tanks, smart healers, a DPS mage that admitted within seconds of pulling adds and wiping the group and then apologizing. I’ve played with people that actually seem to have souls and who’s balls have dropped. Most groups are decent people just looking to blaze through the already trivialized and dated content for some easy badges, coin, and enchanting materials.

The Bad

As to be expected the wait time varies as a DPS where I end up waiting 5-15 minutes for a group to form and even then its not guaranteed to be a winner. It’s less than before trying to find only players on your own server but its still kind of a hassle when you run the 15+ minute wait and then people bail on the group. That’s another thing, people will sometimes just up and leave, or some spoiled little bitch will complain about the tank not having 42k health and say we can’t handle the run. Really? You fucking pussies can’t do heroic Utgarde Keep unless you’re in epics and pushing 3k DPS with a tank that never dips below 75%? I swear it’s like an epidemic of cry babies that don’t even want to put in the modicum of effort required currently for T9 quality loot.

The Ugly

Why the fucking hell are the randomly chosen dungeons not random? I’ve done Nexus about 5 times, Occulus roughly the same. I have a time share in the Old Kingdom and this one time I actually got Heroic Trial of the Champion. There’s also been a dash of the two Howling Fjord dungeons and one Culling of Stratholme. Why in the hell can’t I get into the new 5mans? I mean is it really that much to ask to get tossed into some newish content once in a while instead of the same tired heroics over and over and over? Then there are the window licking retards that you might get lumped in with. A resto druid healing, didn’t have wild growth or refused to use it in a 5 man group, and misplaced his abolish poison spell in Ahn’Kahet. He also refused to heal anybody but the tank and I had to bandage up myself and the warlock because the shadow priest thought it was a waste of DPS to switch out of shadow form between pulls.

The Verdict

It’s a good tool and makes getting gold and emblems easier than it used to be. It’s not as brainless or faceroll easy as most extremists and elitists want you to think, but that’s their nature to belittle everything new because change is scary. You’ll run into good players and wholesom people about as much as you run into loot whores and jerkoffs that are carried by bigger jerkoffs on their own servers. It’s also the best place to train on becoming better at your class with little to no risk involved. A target dummy is just a target dummy and you’ll never ever be that stand alone in anything worth being judged – healers, tanks, and DPS should practice in a group setting with enough randomness in the players to allow proper education for situational awareness. The new LFG tool gave us that.

Also as a public service, melee range is up close point blank and can stretch as far as 5 yards from the target for you ranged types but the hitbox of the target can affect your judgement.